let the RAINBOW pave your way~.

Thursday, April 30, 2009 Y 2:15 AM

I woke up to a sunny morning...which sucked.
I was hoping that it would rain today because we had cross country =(
Well anyways, I decided to make pancakes. =]
So I got up and quickly whipped up the batter and made pancakes for my dad and I since my mum wasn't awake yet. It turned out pretty good. Yay!
Anyway so I was running a little late so I ran out of the house.
I brought my headphones as well cuz...get this
Light FM was airing live at our school!
Hahaha its not really that big of a deal but still...
It's a first so it was pretty interesting, =]
Got there, went straight to take a look.
They were situated in the courtyard.
There were TONS of people there!
It was pretty crazy.
I wanted a balloon so I lined up along with Ash for ages.
The primary bell went so we were like, ok...maybe the primary kids would leave now.
BUT THEY DIDNT
They stuck around!
And then the secondary bell went and Mr R chased us away!!!
That's not fair! Booooo!!!

Well anyway, then during Maths,
Mrs S called me, and 7 other people away.
Apparently, since we were top 8(SCORE!) we've been chosen to take part in a Maths competition.
Rather nerdy eh?
Oh well, it's still pretty interesting. =]

And then today...we had cross country!
Joy. I used to make such a big deal out of it.
I don't know why I did. If I didn't want to do it, all I had to do was walk it!
So anyway, M and I had made a deal with each other that we would walk/run together.
So we started together, sprinting on the first bit.
But then she started to fall back a little bit. And I was still pumped so I just kept running.
I was running...and I didn't stop.
AND I CAME IN 5TH! It's am amazing achievement for me. Seriously.
I got 9th last year. =D
The only bad thing is that I might have to do inter-school.
I don't want to.
I'll get out of it somehow. Don't worry. =]
Hehehehe
SO that's all for today!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 Y 2:24 AM

Well today was a Wednesday.
I had a morning music class...yippee hoorah.
Hm...sarcasm doesn't really work through the internet does it?
Well ok. I dislike music class. Maybe it's because I'm not...musically inclined?
I mean, I'm good at music and piano. But I'm not great and I certainally don't see myself with a music career.
Therefore, I think it is a waste of my time.
I mean, I don't have a lot of free time. So why should I waste my Wednesday mornings?
Haiz...anyway
So I followed Mum to work because she goes early in the mornings.
As we were turning in, I saw Mr C, my science teacher.
So I got out of the car and said, "Hey! Have you marked our test yet?"
He said, "Yes I have."
My heart rate increased.
I said, "Did I fail?" Now before anyone critices me for my negativety, I must say that I seriously did think that I didn't do very well because I screwed up a few questions.
My heart sank. I failed. I mean, I thought I probably did but a little part of me had some hope.
So when he said I failed, I came so close to crying. All I could think of was, "Oh no, I failed. My gosh." I was so disappointed with myself. I felt like I failed myself.
So I went, "Oh."
He then said, "You didn't study much did you?"
I managed to say in my defense, "But I did! I swear I did. =("
He shook his head and said, "Apparently not."
I stood there, numb, head spinning, thinking "My gosh why?"
AND THEN...HE LAUGHED AND SAID, "Nah you didn't fail."
I looked up and went, "WHAT?!"
It was a joke!! Oh my gosh! It's SO not funny!
He gave me a guesstimate of what I did get though but I won't say just in case my dreams do get crushed.

So today was S's birthday.
We had a mini party for her in LOTE.
N and I baked. =]
It kinda sucked but C didn't eat my cupcake.
It kinda hurt. I mean, it couldn't have been that bad right?
Ouch...

Then, I had my 'job' interview today at the Coffee Club.
Been looking forward to it for ages!
Got there 5 minutes early and asked if Philip was there.
HE WASN'T!!
They called him and apparently, he thought I couldn't make it.
So they gave me and dad a free coffee and said he'll call back soon.
Man...tension much?
Then went to tennis info night.
My team seems pretty alright.
The other girl seemed pretty quiet but I was cool with that.
So that's pretty much it for today.
Until next time

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 Y 3:41 AM

So today, I woke up.
And again, it was raining. =(
I hate rainy days!
I had a period 0 today. Methods.
I kinda understood it. It was pretty easy.
A wagged methods today. Tsk tsk tsk.
Apparently, she wasn't feeling well.
Then Mr W started singing this 'Common Factor Song'
It was SO addictive! It got stuck in my head for ages!

C found my diary!!!
I'm so happy!
Apparently it was in the guys toilet...ewwww
But still, I will never take it for granted ever again!
I missed it so much!
I put so much effort into my diary
Filling it with quotes that touches me...
It really is kinda..part of me. :)
haha that sounds so cliche

Anyways, since it was raining, we didnt get to do netball in PE
Which is a shame since I love netball.
Played indoor soccer instead. Not much fun
Then...hmmm
Nothing really.
I'm really stressing about my Physics test.
He practically told me that I failed it. =(
I can't believe it.
I want to do well.
I hate to say this...but I want to beat N.
I feel like whenever she gets better than me...she kinda rubs it in a little bit.
And that kinda hurts. =(

Lately, she's been getting on my nerves a lot.
I mean. It's like her own personal goal...is to beat me at everything.
And then she rubs it in.
I FREAKING HATE IT!
URGHH
K and I are having a major rant about it now. :)
It's nice to have someone to rant to about it.

Had an ortho appointment today.
I now have blue elastics!! :)
Hopefully they'll be off in a few more months!!
I can't wait!
I'd look so abnormal without braces!

Oh!
Philip from the coffee club called me. :)
He asked me for my available days...
The shifts are so late! It's like 4-11!!!
I can't believe it. So late
But I'm pretty psyched!!!

Cant wait...
Im in Mixed 9...for tennis
wow thats really good. I'd prob fail =D

Monday, April 27, 2009 Y 3:38 AM

Well today, I woke up to a black and dark sky.

I looked out and the trees were blowing side to side violently.

I knew immediately, that today wasn't going to be very nice.

I hate cold, wet and rain.

I'm a Singaporean through and through and I despise the cold.

If I could make my own little country, I'd keep the calm and peaceful nature of the Victorian suburban areas and the lovely weather of Singapore.

That would be perfect!!

Ahhhh... I had to wear my winter uniform

You know, it's not as bad as I thought.

I don't look THAT retarded in it. :D That's a real plus.

Hahahaa

Anyway, I had a Methods SAC and a Physics test today.

I thought that I would absolutely fail the methods and do pretty alright with my physics.

OMG. I was so wrong.

Physics was so hard! There were some questions that I just did NOT get!!

Arghh!!

I asked my mum how to do it and she said that it was way hard for my year level!!

I can't believe it.

And my methods SAC was actually rather easy.

Maybe its because I spent all my time preparing for methods instead of Physics.

Grrr.

Also, the other PE class went dancing today!!

I couldn't help but laugh.

Though I wouldn't have minded to dance with a certain I-Guy...but I'm cool.

The negative (P, J...) way overpowers the positive (I)

Don't matter...I have A and B in my class *happy dance here*

BUT A IS SOO TALL!!! He's still cute though ;)

Well anyways, during lunch time,

I talked to J and asked her for advice.

She thinks that all the problems are stemmed from the spirit of lust that entered through fanfiction.

I guess it's kinda true.

She advised me to confront the issue head on. But I'm scared.

I don't know what to say.

Now that the rest of the Group knows, they can do something about it right?

One thing though.

When C told N what had happened. I hated the look on N's face.

In that second, I could tell that N had labeled K off as a slut.

It was pretty bad.

She was just like...'oh' and then made a face.

I hate that face.

I see people do it all the time. It hurts the feelings of others.

I just hope K didn't see it.

Well anyways, I came home and baked.

Except it was kinda like...fail

The muffin stuck to the paper and it wasn't sweet enough.

Maybe I should try it again?

I'm gonna make it again tomorrow. Just to give it a shot.

I must perfect my formula!! Muahahahha.

Had tennis.

I went and we played for 20 minutes before it started raining.

It wasn't fair

I love tennis!!

I want to play.

Going into tennis withdrawal...

must play must play must play...

Sunday, April 26, 2009 Y 3:37 AM

I woke up this morning, and groaned.

It was a Sunday...the start of Chinese class.

WHY??!!!

I really dislike Chinese class. Sure, C, M and I have a blast just hanging out and pretending to listen to the teacher...

But still...it's a bore. Nothing to do...much

And then...there's P.

Now P is a real ass who asked me out...

and somehow C and M managed to find out and have been bagging me out ever since.

They were sooo annoying!!!

So basically...Chinese = P.

sighzzz

Well I went to class today thinking that I had something over M this time. E. SEK!

hahahh

We laugh everytime we hear his last name...

Somehow...it manages to morph to E. SEX!!

Wow we're really immature. XD

Anwayz...as I was saying

I thought that I could hold him over M's head...

but I have to admit...he's kinda cute.

In a baby-faced kinda way =D

So anywayz

I thought M liked him

So I thought..hahaha I could use that as a defence against P.

And then all off a sudden...HE LIKED ME NOW!!!

I'm just like WHAT??!!

How the heck did they come to that??

Well apparently, he was 'staring' at me...

He wasn't and he doesn't like me.

The guys I like never like me back =D

So anyways...during the recess,

they kept saying his name over and over again and calling P and swearing at him.

Poor guy.

What did he ever do??

Hahahahaha

so after, I went to the Glen and went job hunting again.

So many stores don't offer work experience.

It's SO frustrating!!!

I don't want to end up working at Hungry Jacks!!! :'(

After that, came home. Studied for a while...and then went to missions training.

They were talking about what we had to give up and repenting of our sins when we 'missioned'

That's all for today really.

Study for physics next on the agenda

So bye bye!!

Saturday, April 25, 2009 Y 3:35 AM

I can't believe it.

It's almost like the news of it hasn't sunken in just yet.

I should feel angry, shocked, horror-struck...

anything but this numb shell.

I mean, I do feel some anger, but I always imagined that if something like THIS happened, it would be WAYY more intense.

I don't know.

Maybe it's God's love in me?

I just can't seem to hate someone, no matter how justified that hate would appear to be.

I don't know.

Is it wrong for me to be feeling like this?

Also the thing was that K seemed so devastated, so ashamed, so humiliated.

My heart ached for her, because she is my best friend.

I can't imagine how she feels.

If something like that happened, I would probably so ashamed that I would consider something drastic.

But I've prayed with her and I made her promise never to go emo on me.

I mean the only cowardly thing that can come out of it is if she takes the easy way out.

But everytime I think of HIM...how smug he must have felt...how happy and unashamed he feels...

I just feel like punching him and severly hurting him.

He had done the UTMOST horrible thing.

He took away her pride.

HOW COULD HE??

I mean, he should be feeling guilt, shame, some sort of pain.

But I can just imagine him boasting about it to his friends.

I could report him...but what good would that do??

What to do??? That's the question,

Friday, April 24, 2009 Y 6:39 AM

Well it's late and I just had to blog.

I just came back from my 1st interning!!

I was so nervous when I was there.

I mean, it was a bunch of Year 7s. What if they don't like me??

Well, turns out, the Year 7s that are actually in my lifegroup are a bunch of crazies.

They are soooo massively hyper, I think I could actually just sit there and watch them.

It's like a reality TV show.

One thing that concerned me was the behaviour of a couple of girls.

I didn't really think much of it until J pointed it out.

There was a girl named A. She was really aggro. Always resorting to violence to solve her issues.

She also kept calling L a homo (their friends so it was kinda like teasing) but those sort of teasing can really hurt L's self-esteem.

I mean, she could be laughing and joking along but inside she could be pretty torn up.

Also there was a girl named P. She seemed to be really 'go-along-with-the-flow' kind you know?

And she also really wanted a lot of attention. Like everyone had to pay attention to her.

I don't know. Apparently, her parents are really strict. So maybe she feels like she doesn't get enough attention?

Finally, after getting home, I texted K to tell her my happy stories.

However, she replied with a rather disturbing text.

She said that she was 'so sorry' and that she 'felt like she was going to be sick' and that she was 'shaking all over'.

I'm freaked. What could she have possibly done?

I called her and she said that it's not something she can tell over the phone.

So I'm going over to her place in the morning to bake for her assignment and to talk.

She's been going through so much problems.

They just seem to come one after another.

It's almost as if the 1st thing triggered it.

And if I really want to trace it back, it can lead back to her job at S.

I told her to quit so many times, but she likes it there.

Honestly, I would've quit ages ago. It's just not worth it.

Sighzz, I still have to study for methods and science.

When am I going to get time to do them??

After the bake-out, I have to go to Knox to try and figure out my 2nd week of work experience.

And after that, I have to go to church.

Then on Sunday, I have to go to Chinese class (oh crap, not P.C) and then what's happening after that?

I think I'm going chestnut picking or something lame like that with my parent's LG...

How very sad.

What to do??

Thursday, April 23, 2009 Y 11:50 PM

Well, what can I say about today?
It was rather gloomy. As in the minute I woke up, there wasn't a beautiful view of the orange light.
Instead, it was rather black and depressing.
So the minute I woke up, I knew that nothing good would come out of it.

Well so what happened today?
Nothing much, I have to say. I don't know why I have a blog. I never know what to say about my day.
Instead I find I can randomly rant about nothing.
Anyways...
Do you ever get those days where you're just sick of it all?
Sick of being happy, being a 'light' to be around?
I mean, I'm so happy all the time, I deserve a time to be depressed damn it!
I'm sure even the most happiest of person goes through it.
So i decided to have a small depressed moment.
I don't know why. But lately, I haven't been able to feel moments of funness around the Group.
And I feel kinda bad because I take out my depressed moments on them.
And then when I get to another class, and I see my other friends, in this case J and M,
I don't know why but I perk up immediately.
And then I feel guilty because I'm happier around them than with the Group.
But it seems that I'm happier around anyone outside of the Group.

Now let me go more into detail.
The Group is a bunch of girls that I've been hanging out with since I was a sad, fat loser.
I didn't try to make friends with anyone else then.
I don't know what happened. Maybe I matured WAY faster than the Group, but I now have other friends and I try to hang out with them as well.
But the Group get all annoyed at me.
I mean they don't tell me, but they sure act that way.
Urghhh

I mean, I'm wayyyy happier around my other friends.
I don't know why.
Maybe I've been hanging round the Group for way too long and am sick of them?
But then, I thought that we had a real friendship. So what is real friendship if its not that??

Sighzz...
Why does everything have to be so complicated??!!!
Other than that, school was fun.
Everyone liked the banana and choc chip cupcake I baked.
Maybe that's why I bake, to make others happy. :D

the 'GROUP'

Y 2:59 AM

Well I have to say this.
I never thought much of blogging.
But it seems the only way for me to get my feelings out.
I mean, I have this one trusted friend, who I tell like 99% of everything to.
But I need to be able to get that extra 1% out as well whilst remaining anonymous you know?
So here goes...

I have to say.
I think I COULD lead the perfect life if I really wanted to.
You see, the issues that happen within this sad shell people call life, is actually not mine, but my dearly beloved friends.
It seemed that God had purposely rid me of all problems...till now, where it ALL comes at once.
I mean, yeah I'm more mature now and so maybe I can handle the problems better.
But I am also older, which means I have more work to handle as well.
I mean methods is KILLING me.
Its literally pulling my mind apart just digging for understanding!!
Why did I have to pick it???

Anyway, seeing as I have loads of issues to talk about,
I'd probably talk about them individually...one by one.
So until then...